Your tits are I can't wait for
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
