you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
