yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
