I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
