Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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