First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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