The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
