I am in a vortex of obligation.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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