MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You have to summon your inner elephant
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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