My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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