Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
