Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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