i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
