please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
