drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
