I heard we made out
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
