The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
