we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So. Much. Porn.
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