how can u be prego again
I am puke
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I fill condoms, not promises.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
