Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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