Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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