She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
thus making me awesome and them whores
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
