just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
