I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
