We're facebook friends in real life
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
