I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
