sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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