yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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