well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
