Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
