another moral hangover. fuck.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
