Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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