so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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