WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
