last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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