he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
