i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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