can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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