im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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