I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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