is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
