He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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