Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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