I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
