smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i think my cat just said my name.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
