You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
