I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
