Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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