Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
