6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
